
Star Wars spoiler:
Leia is Han’s father
Star Wars spoiler:
Leia is Han’s father
Jeff Bezos this morning:
“Alexa, end my marriage”
No thanks, I’m not hungry right now. I’ll just wait until after you put it away and sit down. Then I’ll have some.
-kids
Good luck to the 13 year old girl who is pregnant and wrote “California” for ethnicity on her clinic forms.
[first day as a doctor]
You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how’s your diet?
[nurse interrupts me]
“Dr that’s the model skeleton”
45 min phone call w/8yo nephew:
Aunt Cassy, there are 206 bones in the human body!Want me to name them?1.Cranium 2.Mandible 3.Scapula…
Here are 5 things you should know about me:
1. Iโm very secretive
Relatives – Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too
I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it