@Bluestmoon_: Luckily, children are much easier to keep alive than house plants.
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@ieatanddrink: Cool prank: Dig up 200 earthworms. I will tell you about the rest of the prank later
@BobTheSuit: My Alexa overheard my Roombas talking and, long story short, I now have 114 Roombas in my living room circling their god, Alexa.
@BoomBoomBetty: [gets to heaven, transforms into angel] God: Here’s your white gown and— You JUST got here. How did you already spill spaghetti sauce all over yourself?