@jon_snow_420

luke: yoda, i wish for…….. your freedom
yoda: i’m not a genie. i’m a person like you. i just look really weird

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@UniqueDude2

Enter new password
<glovebox>
Must contain number
<glovebox1>
Must contain PHONE number
<no>
Please 😉
<no u creep>
Password not recognized

@Juicedballs

Walk into a pawn shop with a ponytail & a handlebar mustache & they treat you like Ray Liotta walking thru that restaurant in Goodfellas

@Cheeseboy22

I wonder if people in Fiji pay $6 a bottle for “American Water.”

@BriarSlyMadness

*climbs Mt. Everest hoping to find clarity, PEACE & a deeper understanding of myself & the world*

“When did they put a Starbucks up here?”

@Angrytrashman

I grew up in a time where your mothers saliva was the most powerful cleaning agent around.

@GaryJanetti

I hope one day to have the chance to whisper “what’s she doing here?” to the person next to me at a funeral.

@DuhhEmma

Crabs always look like they’re walking themselves out of an awkward situation ….

@shutupmikeginn

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

@notsoevilrick

Mean Girls 2020: “Gross, isn’t that the mask you wore yesterday?”