I’LL TAKE TEN OF YOUR FINEST MIDGETS! THEY MUST BE CLEVER CONVERSATIONALISTS & KNOW HOW TO PARTY.
“…Ma’am, this is a preschool…”
M: If I cashew looking through my windows agai-
M: I saw you pecan!
H: No, I wasn-
M: You’re macadamian me mad.
H: You’re nuts.
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her: i love astrology
me: are u sexually attracted to jupiter be honest
her: that’s astronomy, and yes
Bruce Willis is snorkelling when a shadowy figure appears in front of him. It’s a pug in full scuba gear. a very slow chase ensues
I like when the ending credits show pictures from the episode I just watched. What a fun trip down memory lane.
Paper plates were invented by a guy whose wife asked him to do the dishes once.
Pugs. Because you can’t own E.T.
In some cultures, it’s considered polite to scream when someone shows you their baby.
I’d be considered proper there. Probably.
If she’s “one-in-million” there’s 1,344 of her in China.
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
[Getting back into van after museum heist]
Me: Hey guys did you know that Neanderthals buried their dead?