@Ochie2S

[Magician Convention]

Dave: My signature trick Is making anything disappear

Tom: [holding cup] make my tea disappear..

Dave: Ok.. [waves hand].. it is done!

om: [holding cup] But.. it didn’t work!

You Might Also Like

@benharnett

I interviewed 300 high achievers about their morning routine, and you will never believe, they all have inherited family wealth.

@fro_vo

*holds seashell to ear* new shell who dis

@ladybroseph

Many said I couldn’t crossbreed peacocks and flamingos. Yet, I stand here today with my beloved flamingcocks as an inspiration to our youth.

@MissSassy_Pants

Word of advice.

If you forget to put on deodorant, sneaking into the walk-in freezer at work and holding your shirt up doesn’t solve the problem.

Also that creepy coworker will get even more creepier if you forget to close the door behind you.

@Jesssicle

Some of you take selfies from so close up, I’m beginning to wonder if you’re a T-Rex.

@gorrdano

Sorry, I’m using all 43 grocery carts. Use a basket.

@CauseWereGuys

The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since ‘pro’ is the opposite of ‘con’ we should call it prosti….. oh wait.

@MikeDrucker

2017: It can’t get worse than this

DAY ONE, 2018: A YouTube star filmed a dead body for entertainment

@TheHyyyype

[knock on door]

JEHOVAH’S WITNESS: do you have a few minutes to talk about jesus?

ME (hates gossip): no