@squirrel74wkgn: *maintains eye contact with the McDonald’s employee while slowly filling my cargo shorts with free napkins*
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@FatherWithTwins: Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then
@argumentwinner: capitalism is the most efficient system to distribute resources and drive innovation
@Reverend_Scott: Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy.