@squirrel74wkgn: *maintains eye contact with the McDonald’s employee while slowly filling my cargo shorts with free napkins*
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@Mr_Kapowski: *runs into dental hygienist in store* Me: How are you? Her: *starts to respond but I shove my fingers in her mouth* Me: Not so easy huh
@iGreenMonk: Because of Twitter, people use words like Twitterverse, Tweeple, and Twitcide. Which makes me want to twoot myself in the face.
@BumbleDC: Thanks for a lovely evening, I had a great time. Sure, I'll come in for a coffee. You have a lovely apartmeMY GOD that is a lot of Swastikas