@Mikecanrant: Make sure that nobody ever invades your personal space by constantly hula hooping wherever you go.
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@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: does your beard keep you warm? Me: does your mustache keep you warm? Coworker.... Me: WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHY ARE YOU CRYING, BRENDA
@Dawn_M_: It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are. Preposterous.
@ericonederful: If you've committed to pulling a door handle that says push in front of people you have to rip the handle off. You can't let a door own you.
@droidbears: interviewer: any interests outside of work me: war and space documentaries mom: he means star wars me: mom stay in the car mom: nerd