Yes advice is free, but so are throat punches
Man: a pack of condoms please.
Cashier: would you like a paper bag?
Man: no thanks, she’s pretty good looking.
You Might Also Like
She said that having a successful marriage is all about making sacrifices so I threw her into a volcano.
Man, those guys in the Cialis commercial sure are charmed by their wives’ approximations of human behavior
The hardest part of being Darth Vader is never being able to sneak up on anyone because your theme music started playing.
Tequila is made from a plant so you could say I’ve been vegan so far this weekend
Cop cars aren’t very intimidating. Add a crazy plow covered in blood, an anarchy symbol and spinning saw blades and I’ll stop in a heartbeat
Just walked into my local court house, they were all sitting around in a circle with black candles and robes trying to summon a jury #funny
You know you’re too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener.
*walks into bank dragging one of those giant checks behind me*
*everyone claps & cheers*
*hands check over to teller*
Check is for $1.00
Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret