For english press ONE. Para espanol el primo numero DOS. If you like totes can’t even right now, obvs press THREE.
Marie Kondo Vs. Hoarders
“Do these 370 cats bring you joy?”
“Yes. Get out!”
You Might Also Like
My favorite part of The Lion King is the part where Nicki Minaj held up baby Simba.
if your name is Christy and you’re fighting a custody battle in Orlando. fire your lawyer bc I found your whole case file at the bar last night.
In case nobody has Facebook, it’s cold outside.
Watch it bro, your mouth’s writing checks your body can’t cash. Because you write really sloppy with the pen in your mouth. Seriously, wtf?
If a British guy caught his wife cheating he’d probably be like “right. what’s all this then”
“How many people work at your company?”
About half of them.
2019: no carbs
2020: eats a loaf of Wonder Bread out of the bag like it’s popcorn at the movies
Contents of my wallet just spilled all over the cashier’s counter, so embarrassing, spiders everywhere.
STOP MAKING IT WEIRD