Instead of a tweet up,
I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains
A Couples Retweet
MARINE BIOLOGIST AT A PHISH CONCERT: oh
You Might Also Like
I have 2 moods:
Cop: where ya headed?
Cop: im gonna save you a lot of embarrassment and arrest you
“thank you so much, officer”
You missed Mass online, which isn’t great, but you can watch Ben Hur now for partial credit.
ME: I could use an espresso to sober up a bit, do you want anything from this Starbucks?
DRIVING TEST INSTRUCTOR: no
If my husband asks, we took a lit course together in college
Lettuce is like that friend you only hang out with in a group with other friends.
“Hang out? Who else is coming?Ham? Great. I’ll be there.”
My neighbor with the Confederate flag is harmless after all.
He just drove off in the cutest little ghost costume.
Diet starts today.
I need to lose about 3 years.
After 21 years of marriage I thought it would be funny on National Joke Day to tell my wife I wanted to have more kids. She said “ME TOO!”
Now what do I do?