i see a little silhouetto of a bug
IT’S A WASP IT’S A WASP
can we close the damn window
Mario! Are you coming to save me from Bowser’s Castle?
PEACH I MIGHT BE
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“I’m hungry. Except for anything you made. There’s no way I’m eating that.”
I was 14 before I realized that banana peels and anvils weren’t America’s leading causes of death.
NOT EVERYONE WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING, MOM. SOME OF US WERE TRYING TO BREAK IT UP.
Instead of blocking your ex, become such a disaster online that everyone makes fun of your ex for dating you
Unless there’s a picture of you getting attacked by a shark, I don’t want to see your vacation pictures.
Alright. It’s Sunday. Another Breaking Bad. Or if you don’t watch the show, an hour of confusing tweets.
My uncle started shouting at me about my “misuse” of emoticons and had a heart attack 😉
Just watched a mosquito suck my blood then throw up.
Body: so tired
Brain: can’t sleep
Body: okay then, let’s pee every 15 minutes