Why would you waste money on a service that carries Game of Thrones when you could just absorb the plot of each episode as hundreds of furious live-tweets. I have been consuming the show in this fashion for at least four seasons, as a whale consumes krill.
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I wonder how many illegitimate socks are out there because of me?
The gardener at my work put beer in the garden to catch slugs
SO GUESS WHO JUST BECAME A SLUG
to discover what’s going on with justin bieber we caught up with his manager scooter braun, who is named after two different types of razors
Cashier: would you like a receipt?
Me, suddenly realizing I have nothing in my pockets to throw away when I get home: yes
My bank statement looks like a 9 yr old stole my debit card & used it to eat lunch at every shitty place he could think of for a month.
Kidnapper: 25,000 by this Sunday if you want to see your kids again.
Me: how about 40,000 and you keep them til next weekend?
Password must contain a capital letter, a number, a plot, a protagonist with some character development, and a surprise ending.
<- I’ve been drinking for almost 6 hours. If you see something wash up on shore that looks like this, please identify me.
What tribe is your bicep from?