@EJGomez

“Mary had a little lamb. had.” -wolf

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@thedad

Harry Potter is realistic because it normally takes a kid 10 years to tell a story.

@bonehugsnirony

hi welcome to my podcast “consciousness was a mistake” today we’re gonna take a nap together to demonstrate that being aware of reality is bad

@DamienFahey

The Rainforest Cafe isn’t realistic enough for me. Part of the restaurant should burn down by the time you finish your meal.

@markydoodoo

Guys if ur drinking tonight please remember this; u can always use a frozen hot dog if u run out of ice. Ok stay safe & keep it real.

@Plurprincess_1

I bought a pair of Undies yesterday.

On the front it says, “I Will do Anything For Love”

..and on the back it says, “But I Won’t do That.”

@jjax44

A summer getaway for women that date younger guys in the bathroom & want to learn to carve cantaloupe?

John Cougar Melon Camp