My son’s superpower is to turn 1 cracker into 10 lbs of crumbs
“Mary had a little lamb. had.” -wolf
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“Here’s what I would do…”
– me, giving bad advice
I’m literally crying
Harry Potter is realistic because it normally takes a kid 10 years to tell a story.
hi welcome to my podcast “consciousness was a mistake” today we’re gonna take a nap together to demonstrate that being aware of reality is bad
The Rainforest Cafe isn’t realistic enough for me. Part of the restaurant should burn down by the time you finish your meal.
Guys if ur drinking tonight please remember this; u can always use a frozen hot dog if u run out of ice. Ok stay safe & keep it real.
I bought a pair of Undies yesterday.
On the front it says, “I Will do Anything For Love”
..and on the back it says, “But I Won’t do That.”
A summer getaway for women that date younger guys in the bathroom & want to learn to carve cantaloupe?
John Cougar Melon Camp
Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.