Maybe he went out for the knight?

You Might Also Like


I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they’ll open up a small demolition business together.


[Writing Silence of the Lambs]

Anyone have an idea for the cannibal’s name?

Jim: Hannibal?


Jim: Hannibal

Anyone other than Jim?


marriage counselor: you can’t run away from your problems
me: [leans forward, whispering] what if she gave me a head start
wife: I can hear u


“One good thing about me is that I’m a great listener,” I said while some kind of noise came out of her face.


3 men asked me out while I was shoveling out my car.

Lesson learned: showering and makeup are optional as long you’re grunting.


The next time someone sneezes, please don’t say ‘God bless you.’

I just…I just need a day off from the sneezes, is that too much to ask?


To clean them like a pro without leaving any traces, you’ll have to wash your hands like a politician


HIM: I like your shirt!

ME: [wondering why he excluded every other thing I’m wearing and also me] thanks


Never tell a woman you’re infatuated with her. All she’ll hear is “fat”.