Here’s a crazy idea. What if Budweiser took all that advertising money and actually made better beer?
Maybe if Red Bull gave me buffalo wings i’d give a shit.
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Life Tip: If you’re ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery.
Captain America: ok Avengers, we can defeat Ultron if we work as a team. Remember, no man is an island
Island Man: oh come on not this again
Do werewolves pull their ripped pants down to poop in the woods?
Jesus: This bread is my body. This wine, it is my blood. And this Cadbury egg is filled with my…
Judas: Ok ok that’s enough!
I am not a monster and if anyone says I am then I’ll devour their children.
A comma is just a period with a mullet.
Batman: Why so down?
Aquaman: People think I’m not a real superhero. I’m tired of being walked all over.