
The initials of the Sri Lankan players read like DOS commands. MKDIR, CHKDSK.
Maybe that neighbor without a Wi-Fi password isn’t an idiot. Maybe he’s generous. And an idiot.
The initials of the Sri Lankan players read like DOS commands. MKDIR, CHKDSK.
Cop: “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?”
Shark: *eats cop*
FRIEND: Want to do Escape the Room?
ME: Dude like 90% of my life is me trying to figure out how to get out of places I don’t want to be
The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance of not going to work tomorrow. Tequila gives you a 1 in 3 chance.
Me: Is your friend coming or what?
16yo son: I don’t know. He’s not answering his texts.
Me: Why don’t you call him?
Son: I don’t know what that is.
So sad America ranks 25th in the world in math. But at least we’re still in the top 10.
Twitter is for people who don’t like to poop alone.
Hitler was the worst camp counselor ever.
I don’t think the water lizards run on the water always. I think it’s a “oh hey I forgot something” or “shit it’s the cops, run” thing.
why do they call it involuntary manslaughter and not a grave mistake