My Game Of Thrones review: Even my cat is a mess.
McDonalds CEO: your job is to entertain the children. what is your job?
Ronald McDonald: e-eat them?
McDonalds CEO: goddammit. shock him again
You Might Also Like
People are so wary of technology still. I grew up living directly under high power lines & only have 1 sentient mole that orders me to kill.
[my first police chase]
me: *into walkie talkie* I’m trailing the perp on foot, Chads Gym on Broadway
suspect: *looks over shoulder* only one person per treadmill
me: *into walkie talkie* sorry Keith i lost him
They sacked me for putting profit before people – I was a terrible dictionary compiler
I want to put a ‘Honk If You Love Jesus’ bumpersticker on a goose
Hubs: Kids are still asleep! Know what that means?
Me: We have to be quick!
*Runs to the hidden box of Cocoa Puffs and pours 2 big bowls*
You have precisely two minutes to consider where your life went wrong as you watch your Hot Pocket rotate in the microwave.
Seeking hostile female rage rhino to suffocate me with her thighs. Smoker’s cough a plus. Oxygen tank required. No crazies.
Good thing he found a cart, because that looks really heavy.