I put a message in an empty wine bottle and threw it in the ocean.
It said, “Please refill and return to sender.”
Now I wait.
me: 1985 was a great year
friend: you weren’t even born yet
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I asked the Librarian if she had any books about Paranoia?
She leaned over and whispered “they’re right behind you … ”.
If at first you don’t secede, try, try again.
~ Theresa May
America is 5 wars away from receiving a free one.
ME: Am I making you wet?
ME: Sorry I’ll tone down the crying
I own a Delorean but I only drive it from time to time.
me: so did it hurt?
her: yes, a lot
me: when i splashed that salsa in your eye?
her: I SAID YES
[snowman rings doorbell]
Pardon me, but I overheard someone say something about a “snow blower” and was wondering where I might find one.
Sometimes I see a baby and think “Aww, I want one!” Then I find my TV remote in the fridge again and think “Yeah, maybe I’m not ready.”
1. OMG will this ever end?
2. OMG will this ever end?
3. OMG will this ever end?
-top 3 things on my mind when I’m in a a conversation