Auto correct is my worst enema.
Me, 7yrs ago: NO EATING in my new car. I mean spotless
Me, Now: u hungry car? *mashes donut into CD player*
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It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
A five year old girl is headed to
the National Spelling Bee finals.
And I just had to use autocorrect
to spell “embarrassed”
I’m so emb-
It’s been clinically proven that the most effective form of birth control I can use is: “Just be myself.”
I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship.
Commentator just said that the rain “may just be the tears of a heartbroken nation,” which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of rain.
LAUGH IT UP NOW MILLENNIALS! IN 30 YEARS YOUR FAVORITE ACTORS WILL BE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT REVERSE MORTGAGES.
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
Stop calling hurricanes names, you’re just giving them the attention that they want
I’ve had to repeat everything I’ve said to Alexa today like we’re married.