Me: I need a simple, easy hobby to relax and clear my mind
Also me: I will teach myself metalworking techniques from the Middle Ages
ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one.
HER: I don’t think you get what a tornado watch is.
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Strangers get so paranoid when they catch you stirring a mysterious powder into their drink.
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Everybody just wants to get off…
….This elevator because that guy stinks
Don’t make my same mistake. See the signs. Make a change.
I just threw a snowball at a Smart car and its airbags deployed
Cop: please step out of the car
Me: *pulling away* suck it, cop!
Roller coaster operator: he’ll be back in 2 min 24 seconds
To Do List :
1: Buy 4 Pigs
2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 & 5 on their backs
3: Release them in Wal-Mart
4: Sit back watch Security search for #4
My Internet was out for a while so I went downstairs to talk to my mom. She seems nice.