@Girly_Pictures: Me as a thief
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@JennyPentland: I'm teaching my boys to leave the toilet seat up so there's no pee on it when I put it down. Everything is a lie and life is a bad dream.
@steveolivas: I'm gaining weight because it's hard to carry around this much "awesome" in a standard-sized body.
@SondraDeeMe: When you skip while carrying a can of gas people move out of your way. Even if you're smiling. No one's happy when you have gas.
@GuyThe_Guy: This LSD may be taking a turn, but I think this pony rabbit is a piece of shit insurance salesman.