me: what’s a 3-letter word for compete
me: for a crossword puzzle
Me, at 15: I’m going to change the world!
Me, at 25: I’m going to change the workforce!
Me, at 35: I’m going to change out of my pajamas tomorrow.
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On this day 15 years ago my moms picked up the phone and interrupted a file at 96% I’d been downloading from Napster for 17 hours.
I love it when the doctor’s office asks me if I’ve been out of the country like I’m super rich or have Ebola.
Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler.
Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
No thanks, I’m not hungry right now. I’ll just wait until after you put it away and sit down. Then I’ll have some.
Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex? Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.
Gizmodo Article: A Caterpillar With Vomit-Inducing Poison Fur Is Taking Over Virginia.
2020: All right, all right. Forgive me for trying to be creative.
my bf told me i have too many hats so i laid them all out and gently explained each one is a slightly different color and therefore warranted
2 just lectured me for not having bacon in the house and brought me my shoes and pants….how’s your Sunday going?
Based on their level of excitement, bros in beer commercials seem unaware that you can pretty much buy beer anywhere.