@AsgardianRose

Me at 16: No one can tell me what to do with my life.

Me at 36: Someone please tell me what to do with my life.

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@shesatornado

My husband proposed two days after Valentine’s day so that every year he could get me discounted flowers and chocolates on the anniversary instead of the holiday

@daplusk

I’ve never played the bagpipes but I have carried a screaming three year old toddler over my shoulder

@PJTLynch

How excited are you, on a scale from 1 to white woman who just found out that this dinner party has sangria?

@TheTweetOfGod

Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years.

@ThisOneSayz

To see if my husband uses his shopping list, I used book titles instead food items. So we are either having Grapes or Wrath or bagel bites for dinner.

@jessokfine

Will I still enjoy it if I haven’t seen Shepherd’s Pie 1-5?

@BurbidgeJames

“If you started at 16 and work until you’re 23.
That would give you 10 years of experience.”
Back to school for you My friend!