Brain: Quick say something intresting
Me: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake
me: can you tell me what’s wrong with my car?
techician: sure..I’ll take a look
technician: it’s not too bad..
me: thank god..what is it?
technician: eh..just shit in the cylinders
me, completely clueless about cars: wow…how frequently should I do that?
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[internet] if u liked this story on cows dressed as plumbers..
[me] I did
[i] here’s a story on panda cops
[barely containing my glee] go on
Okay with female deers & drops of golden sun. But always felt that “La” deserved a better identity than “a note to follow So”
“No matter what it is, two chews and a swallow is all you need. Efficiency is the key…”
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Keep your goddamn mouth closed
Whenever you chew
[at a movie theater]
Cashier: Can I help u?
Me: One large cornpop please
C: Sir it’s the other way around
Me: Ok- can I help u?
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
[reading of my will]
My son: his shoes!?
Lawyer: he instructs me to say you are his sole heir I’m so sorry
Call me old timey, but I don’t stand for a lot of flim flam malarky.
The ostrich may have the right idea
but I hate sand in my hair.