New smartphone: $1,000
Monthly fees: $200
Data overages: $75
Never talking to anyone:
Me: Could a drunk person do this!? *assembles Ikea bookcase*
Her: that’s supposed to be a couch.
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I’m working on my core muscles so I can rise out of a coffin dramatically.
This TikTok trend might be my favorite so far
In 3rd grade the bus driver missed my house but I was too embarrassed to say anything so I got off at the last stop and started a new life.
Juliet: Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Romeo (lost somewhere in Verona): Google Maps doth hateth me.
It’s cute how I ordered 2 drinks and the bartender asked if I wanted to wait for the other person to be seated
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
[From Basement]: *scary murdery noise*
Me: oh shit
Me: *makes slightly more scary more murdery noise*
[From Basement]: Oh shit
Thinking is hard, that’s why I appreciate websites telling me in advance how I will feel about the article
Me food shopping alone: $250.00
Food shopping w/the husband: $99.75
Food shopping with the kids: $699.00