@Kali_Mura: Me: Dark Lord, I am your devoted servant. Please accept this sacrifice as proof of my --
Satan: I have a girlfriend.
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@sammyrhodes: Olive Garden is appropriately named given that an olive garden is exactly where even Jesus was disappointed.
@delusions_of: My phone always asks if I "Trust This Computer" like it knows something I don't.
@scorpiusryan21: My friend and I have a pact that if we're not married by age 40, we're going to fist bump and take shots for making good decisions
@Try2StopME: I wrote to the Bank: "My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?"
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