Announced sternly to students today that “only hard things are worth doing!” In other news, I have a bunch of parent emails to respond to.
ME: *doing deadlifts* more weight
PALLBEARER: *reluctantly adds another body*
You Might Also Like
I have never ONCE dropped a roll of toilet paper without it dramatically unrolling half of itself
O: put your seatbelt on, honey
o: i will, mom
O: you ready?
It’s not like I can let everyone on facebook know that I am actually a sexually deprived, unshaven, drunken mess.
So I tell everyone here.
decorating my apartment
Me: I thought I told you no more snacking
8: it’s an energy bar
Me: then why are there m&m’s on them?
8: duh…that’s where the energy comes from
Regardless of how strange your life can be, at least you’re not the h in chameleon.
Coworker: What a crazy weekend!
Me: *takes a knee*
CW: What are you doing?
M: Protesting this conversation.
If you love her, shout it from the rooftops. Tell everyone around you. Tell the internet. Tell the cashier at cvs. Tell a hobo. Tell her husband. Whatever.
Interviewer: have you ever made, eaten or even seen a sandwich?
Interviewer: you’re hired welcome to Subway