@FredTaming

me: [donating body to science]

science: [donates my body to goodwill]

You Might Also Like

@SnarkyMommy78

I had no idea parenting would turn me into the kind of person that thanks their 4yo for peeing in the toilet but here we are.

@sannewman

In every relationship, there is one partner who provides the stability and comfort while the other partner brings the moth infestation.

@_sweet_ham

My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.

@cbdoubleu

[Imagine Dragons Concert]

me, a rebel: *thinking about cats*

@dearjodusty

I saw an owl. He stared at me and didn’t fly away. I stared at him and didn’t fly away either.

@perlhack

Cyber Monday but instead of buying more stuff, I get rid of it by putting it in Amazon boxes on my porch and let it get stolen

@papasuncle

Life is like a box of chocolates, once you have kids it’s gone.

@AimeeHelene1

I’ve developed a rash from my wedding ring, which can only mean my body is rejecting marriage.