I’ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I’ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can’t reach the remote.
Me: don’t 🙏🏼 judge 💜 other 🌈 people 💕 be kind ?🏼😇
Also me: anyone who likes the new Taylor Swift song has a rotten brain parasite
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Pizza will never hurt your feelings.
Omg, I’m a huge fan!
Me *tries to open website*
Captcha: Prove you’re not a robot
Captcha: Live an emotionally fulfilling life
Me: can’t I just click on a box
You think 70 degrees yesterday and snow today is funny, Mother Nature?
*empties 326 cans of hairspray outside*
Knock that shit off!
Auto correct changed naughty with nausea and it was the best decision i ever made in this relationship.
DOCTOR: Do you have any questions?
“Can I shower with this cast?”
DOCTOR: What do you think, guys?
PHOEBE, JOEY, CHANDLER, MONICA: Sure!
My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery.
A GPS. But for where your story is going.
Oh that’s neat so you’re a Cancer? Wait…astrologically or to society?