day 16 of being stuck in:
me: shall I have another glass of wine?
my wall: yes catherine splendid idea
[me dress shopping]
“Ohhhh that’s cute”
*an 80 year old buys it*
You Might Also Like
Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver
I told myself that I wouldn’t drink today, but nobody ever listens to me.
I’m so mad I put my fist through a wall. I HATE BEING A GHOST
If you get lost on Columbus Day you’re allowed to just choose and occupy a new home, regardless of its current occupants.
The more you know
If you’re afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway.
Shout out to all the animals that help Disney princesses get shit done.
Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. Two women trying to kill each other over shoes. Brilliant, really.