@IvoryGazelle: Me: *finally understanding how change machines work* ahh ok that makes cents
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@ThatMummyLife: [dinner party, setting out the main] Friend: Wow! Is this edible gold? You’re really stepping up your game! Me, thinking about my kid’s art taped to the kitchen cupboard shedding glitter like a damn Head & Shoulders commercial: Isn’t it fancy?!
@HeyANow: Truth: My 85yr old grandmother's answering machine says, "I'll call you back when I want to, if I want to." Heroes are all around us.
@bourgeoisalien: I feel like maybe if God didn't spend all his time helping people win at sports and awards shows he'd have time to fix some shit