HER: how is remote learning going
ME [sadly]: I couldn’t figure it out so I just got up to change the channels
Me: hey, I’m looking for an email.
iPhone mail: this one from 2012, unrelated to your search?
Me: no it was last week
iPhone: can’t find it.
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God: [returning from year-long sabbatical] So, how’s 2016 been? Did you cope OK?
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Set a personal record today.
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Personal best! 🙌
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Him: Don’t you mean chick magn-
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Me: We have to go NOW
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