My 5yo has gone from simply repeating back everything I say to now repeating back everything I say but with a question mark at the end. This should serve as a reminder to us all that no matter how bad things are they can always get worse.
Me: hi 🙂
Woman at bar: it’s loud in here, I’m sorry, did you just say “colon closed parentheses” ???
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I believe in “you’re stupid” at first sight.
Son [doing homework]: What’s an example of a palindrome?
Son: Ugh. Fine. Mom can you give me an example of a palindrome?
Son: OHMYGOD WHY WON’T YOU GUYS HELP ME
WIFE: you need a haircut
ME: I do not
WIFE: *whistles and a little bird pops up on top of my head, chirping*
ME: shhhh, she just had babies
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ME: Hold on, let’s stay in the car until the song ends.
UBER DRIVER: No.