@joe_binkley

Me: How do Minions wear overalls? They don’t even have shoulders
Therapist: I meant is there anything else bothering you about your marriage

You Might Also Like

@kimlockhartga

A good way to meet all of your neighbors at once is to take the trash out, in your pajamas.

@dumbbeezie

Them: Ok we need to create good plastic packaging for cakes and cookies

Satan: MAKE IT REALLY LOUD

@RodLacroix

The kids report cards are coming out today so I’m excited to see how I did.

@envydatropic

Someone told me I was “good people” and I replied “OMG you can hear them too?”

@Gupton68

May rob a bank just to get a few short, sweet years away from the kids.