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@dannyboy7813: Me: How much for the doggy in the window
Store Employee: That's Karen. She works here
@SoulYodeler: Why the hell would I use turn signals? I know where we're going.
@bigTman001: Cop: You know why I pulled you over sir?
Me: Because you suck at finding rapists, murders, molesters, thieves, and arsonists?
@BeardSpice: "Two birds with one stone, how about all the birds" God thinks, hurling an asteroid toward Earth
@MrSpoonicorn: yells "PARKOUR" then strokes a dog the wrong way, the camera zooms in on the dogs face, he portrays mild annoyance
@PatSandora: NYCer: OMG you’re in the city?!
NYCer: I’d love to see you! Let me know if you end up on my exact block. I will not travel.