You Might Also Like

@rockymomax

EGYPTIAN KING: we shall build religious monuments. they will baffle future science.

SUBJECT: what shall we worship?

EGYPTIAN KING: cats

@coalslag

In the Flirtatious Period, the dinosaurs did a hell of a lot of winkin’…

@KKAlThani

Salad tastes pretty good once you add some Nutella and throw away the salad.

@Fred_Delicious

Date – “I really dig intellectuals”
Me – “oh yeah? well check this out babe”
[counts to 17]

@HellisWorthit

My spanish class in high school should have had a bit less

“Where is the bathroom”

and a bit more

“She was dead when we got here”.

@GaryJanetti

Thanks for the holiday photo! I can’t believe your little girls are already unhappy, overweight teenagers!

@KentWGraham

Apparently, when you supply HR with a urine sample, it has to be because they requested it.

@WilliamAder

Whenever someone jokingly replies, “Blocked,” I laugh and laugh and then go check.