She’s got a great personality!
It’s the other 6 personalities that I’m worried about….
Me – I can’t find the sea salt.
Wife – It’s next to the paprika.
Me – No it isn’t.
(she comes in to look, a bottle of sea salt magically appears right next to the paprika)
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The lead singer of Nickelback tried out for his school Christmas play, but he never made it as a wise man.
When someone asks if I have any hobbies
mmmm This chocolate speaks my language. Or it would, if it weren’t being eaten. So. I guess it’s probably horrified-screaming my language.
Him: Send me a shower pic
You inspired me to sing. Never mind the dogs howling for me to stop.
Always a housemaid, never a house.
(B) (O) (R) (N)
(W) (I) (T) (H)
(T) (O) (O) (O)
(M) (A) (N) (Y)
(H) (A) (N) (D)
Snakes are terrifying because they can’t trip and fall over shit. No creature should possess such power.