@ruff_bluffs

Me: I like the funny horse cartoon

Bojack: you inherit your parents’ trauma but you will never fully understand it

Me: haha the cops a cat

You Might Also Like

@SadMeterologist

My neighbors are organizing something called a “fun run”. This shit never happened when I lived in my car.

@Pork_Chop_Hair

Get you a man who isn’t really into movies: He’ll never know that sweet love note you wrote him is really just a series of lines from Field of Dreams.

@daemonic3

me: so you’re just going to pack up my things? as if none of this meant anything to you??

grocery bagger: what

@RefractReality

I have a feeling his life would have gone in a different direction had his name been Kanye East.

@sixfootcandy

[dental office]
Me: I’m going to need some laughing gas.
Receptionist: Your appointment isn’t for 3 months.
Me: Is that a yes?

@cravin4

Hey babe, you look hungry. I have a meal for you in my shorts.

*whips out five course meal from my cargo shorts with still frozen dippin dots for dessert*

@tigersgoroooar

me, sober: ugh, i’m never leaving my house again, people are trash.

me, after 3 beers: *on a megaphone* ATTENTION EVERYONE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD I WOULD LIKE TO PAY YOUR ELECTRICITY BILL THIS MONTH