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@jergarl: Me: I love you with my hole heart.
Wife: Wrong hole.
@Six_Pack_Mom: *watching husband sleep*
Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"
Me: "I can't live like this."
@baseballchickie: I’m 35 and have never been divorced!!!
I’ve never been married either but at this age you have to focus on the good parts.
@Purple_whipped: Well, well, well...
If it isn't the lesson I should've learned by now.
@jimmy_sharpe: Taking vocabulary to a whole new thingy
@LoveNLunchmeat: "Clean up after yourselves. Your mother doesn't live here!" I holler at my kids, completely forgetting several key details.