Trebek: This Disney movie starred Elsa & Anna.
Trebek: In the form of a question please.
Me: Do you wanna build a snowman, Alex?
Me: I took two naps today and was just falling asleep again.
Him: I can think of something to wake you up. *wraggles eyebrows*
Me: Is it food?
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Dad: I called but got VM, where were you?
Me: Outside smoking a brisket.
Dad: Why? Did the price of tobacco go up?
Me: Bye, Dad.
Before Batgirl can become Batwoman she has to have a Batmitzvah.
*hears someone breaking in*
*grabs gun and walks down hallway*
*realizes I grabbed Nintendo gun from Duck Hunt*
You know what I’d like for Christmas, mom? I’d like you to stop treating me like a child. Also I’d like some money and some new socks.
People who get lost in a book are so dumb. Like, the pages are literally numbered and in order.
Scientists say Spider-Man would not be able to climb vertical surfaces due to his size. It’s almost like someone made the whole thing up.
I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
Carried 9 oranges up to the cashier and she says “Ya want a box for them?”
“I was willing to pay” I said “but I guess we can fight for em”
She had soft, black hair, and big, brown eyes. We went for a walk. I told her I loved her. Now she’s gone. She took off after a squirrel.