Lick it. LICK IT FASTER!
– parents who let their kids have ice cream cones in the car
ME: I’d like to register my kid for school.
SCHOOL REGISTRAR: Sir, that’s a goat.
ME: *proudly* A BABY goat.
You Might Also Like
2015: cake by the ocean
2020: the ocean is cake
Someone want to tell my kids that the color of the bowl has NO EFFECT ON THE FLAVOR OF THE FOOD!!
Me: I can’t eat another bite.
Also me: *whimsically eats entire spongebob ice cream cake*
I hated Sex Ed at school. Or ‘Sexy Edward’, to give him his full name.
More like Kermit *A* Frog, there are other frogs
Disney movies taught me there’s nothing I can’t accomplish as long as my parents die a brutal untimely death.
The Ghostbusters are women?! This totally compromises the integrity of a story about battling evil marshmallows while dressed like a janitor
2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough.
2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!
It’s not drinking alone if you’re stuck in traffic