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@NYC_Blonde: Me: Is there alcohol in this?
Barista: ... No ma'am.
Me: Can there be?
@Maxine12333: If ex asks you to go bungee jumping remember, cord goes around feet not neck, no matter what they tell you.
@Dani_Feld: I walked into a room full of men and they couldn't stop staring at me.
@CulturedRuffian: SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE WEATHER REPORTERS RISKING LIFE & LIMB SO WE CAN ALL KNOW WHAT A 130MPH HURRICANE LOOKS LIKE IN THE DARK!
@WhaJoTalkinBout: me, as a child: I beat all my sisters at hide and seek today!
my dad: that’s good, but your brother Daniel is the reigning champ
@skittle624: I was terrified when my son started driving alone, but then realized he could get dinner and grocery shop. I’m good now.