“Britney Spears” implies the existence of a “Britney Swords”, who probably has less attack speed and range but more well-rounded damage output potential
Me: Man I’m never going to find the one
Friend: You will, dude
Me: [browsing Netflix] There’s just too many options
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Keanu Reeves: THERE’S A BOMB ON THE BUS! IF WE GO UNDER 50MPH WE’LL EXPLODE!
Me: [while maintaining eye contact, presses “Next Stop” signal]
me: goodnight moon
me: [pumping shotgun] forever
Him: “Part of having a sense of humor is knowing when to show restraint.”
Me: “Yeah, but this is Twitter.”
Planet of the Apes is starting to look downright optimistic.
When I’m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they’re safe
99% of smokers are just wanna-be dragons. Everybody knows that.
“Boo!” — cow with a cold
I’m going to the corn maze today to see if I can find the kid I lost in there last October.
BRUCE WAYNE: Did you make all the “Badman” equipment like I told you…the Badmobile, the Badcopter etc?
ALFRED: Yeah…wait, what?