“Well, he’s Jack Frost now lol”
-Rose from Titanic, probably
Me: [on mars] *opening bag of chips*
My dog: *blasts off from earth*
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I have an irrational fear that I’m accidentally making up words. I don’t want to be misunderstandable.
the h in university stands for happiness
“any questions for Mr. deGrasse Tyson?”
[I knock over an old woman while sprinting to the mic]
HOW DOES AIR CONDITIONING WORK IN SPACE?
“I don’t know the government, and I’m not giving them any of my coins.” – my 4yo after I explained taxes
*Takes one bite from every item in the work refrigerator*
Who comes up with this kinda stuff
Don’t talk down to me
A time gather around with your family, and realize why you only allow them in your house once a year.
Siri just said I’m looking for love in all the wrong places so I’m tryin to figure out what happened to Siri and how my mom got in my phone.