There will come a day when Christ will drive out evil from our land, and it will be the Judgment Day!
*T-1000 shifts nervously*
Me: *pours 3rd glass of wine at dinner*
My organs: We strike at dawn.
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Saw someone simultaneously walking while writing on a pad of paper.
I yelled at them to text and drive like a normal person.
Are chicken nuggets an emotion because i feel very chicken nuggets right now
[me, hearing an audience booing] STOP APPROPRIATING GHOST CULTURE
Stranger things? You should see Tinder.
bruce banner: [getting angry]
black widow: here eat this [hands a mint]
bruce banner: what is this?
black widow: anger manageMINT.
hulk: [sighs heavily]
*coworker drinks coffee I made them*
Me: I poisoned your coffee…
Coworker: oh haha
me: The love for murder
4yo daughter: No matter how much I wipe there’s still poo
Me: *blocking people on twitter* Same, baby
It’s fun to stay at the!
Pee after storming area 51 or else youll get a ufo