@drinksmcgee
@Pass_DaTeqila88
Just tell me which one is wrong! The user ID or the password???
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@Pass_DaTeqila88
@MakeupHaxs
Story of my life.
@purcival
My hand just touched toilet water. Now I’m on eBay looking for a second-hand hand.
@kimtopher22
A minute, 45 seconds.
How long I’ll hold my hands under a restaurant faucet before I finally realize it’s not motion activated.
@SteveStfler
Biden: Ok here’s the plan: have you seen Home Alone
Obama: Joe, no
Biden: Just one booby trap
Obama: Joe
@Amrrwise
Dear spouse:
When I said I needed more physical contact, I was not aiming for you to high five me whenever I walk by…
@JohnMoynes
Rage Against the Machine never specified what type of machine they were furious with but I reckon it was probably a printer.
@ThinkingSavage
I’m boycotting 50 Shades of Grey because it perpetuates the stereotype that men can change.
@HandfulOfLewds
Satan: Welcome to hell, where it’s hot and never not! Any questions?
Me: Yeah, where’s the second circle? They’re expecting me.
@CornerPubRon
I saw a video of these woodcocks searching for prey in the sand. I added music
Sound ON 🔊