@maurajbg

ME: Say “Anagrams are stupid” one more time & I will rearrange your face.
YOU: Anagrams are stupid.
ME: You farce.

You Might Also Like

@KissabiX

[sees a lion and a witch come out of a wardrobe]

Me: what have you been up to in there?

Lion: Narnia business

@HeyoShellz

You can’t change a person unless they wear adult diapers

@lecalabara

I have a very dry sense of humor. So I drink moisturizer.

@thenatewolf

What era would you have fit best in? Mine is the one where whenever anything went wrong you could blame witches.

@68Cly29

50 shades – only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds

@StaceyLynne_44

If anyone needs like five things 25% done and no things 100% done, just let me know.

@julezmac

Spielberg missed a great opportunity when he didn’t put FIN at the end of Jaws.

@mommajessiec

Me: *crying*

Tween: *crying*

Husband: I thought you two were doing math homework together.

Me: We are.