We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@tweetsbyrocket: me: someone we know is possessed by an owl
me: [narrows eyes]
@RobDenBleyker: "Poor" is an odd word because when you put it in front of "people" it's sad but when you put it in front of "bladder control" it's hilarious
@HuffPostComedy: Talk about bad timing #JokeoftheDay #Conan
@xLiserx: Me: Why doesn't he love me?
Nachos: Eat more of me and find out!
Me: *Chewing* So?
Nachos: We need outside counsel. Send pizza down here.
@amandamull: Adulthood is just constantly trying to get rid of a faint headache
@Prof_BrianCocks: "14 years, £20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope."
"You mean Collider?"