@Home_Halfway

ME: Sure is nice to be fishing in the ocean today

*do do do do*

FRIEND: What was that?

ME: What was what?

*do do do do*

FRIEND: THAT

ME: Oh god

*DO DO DO DO*

FRIEND: WE’RE SURROUNDED BY BABY SHARKS

ME: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

*DO DO DO DO*

FRIEND: DO DO DO DO

ME: DO DO DO DO

You Might Also Like

@lecalabara

Wanna know the secret to a good marriage? Sleep. Cant do anything wrong while sleeping. Unless you talk in your sleep, then youre dead.

@Kateness8

[walking somewhere]

My cat: I’M GOING TO GET THERE FIRST!!

@UnFitz

Her: How pathetic can you be?

Me: Gosh, I don’t know. I haven’t really pushed myself yet.

@AudreyPorne

physically I’m in this realm but spiritually I’m running through halls in a silk robe wondering where to hide my rich dead husband

@notorious_stars

My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That’s why I stopped Wearing them

@PyrBliss

I’m no mathementientist, but I should probably go to bed because it’s 4AM and I’m making up words again.

@Sanbel11

When a husband asks you if you think it’s possible to love someone forever…
“If I find the right person” is apparently the wrong answer.

@SirEviscerate

*dumps more fleas on my head*
*sits back down in front of chimpanzee*
So, anyway, like I was saying…