@audipenny [speaking very loudly to no one trying to impress someone nearby]
Man what am I going to do with all these hens
@samdunsiger ME: There’s something fishy going on here.
YOU: It’s just an aquarium.
ME: Exactly.
ME: There’s something fishy going on here.
YOU: It’s just an aquarium.
ME: Exactly.
- @samdunsiger
funnytweeter.comYou Might Also Like
@audipenny 
@TheMichaelRock Lady GaGa is easily the scariest of all the Muppets.
@funTweeters 
@HuffPostComedy Awww, how nice for wittle Jeb #JokeoftheDay #Conan
@delasoulless Faster! Faster! Faster! Don’t stop! Almost there!Yes! YESSSS! -me trying to get everyone through the traffic light.
@ddsmidt I’m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn’t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
@apok842 It was a sad day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely.
@HomeProbably The circus serves as a great analogy for marriage. You’re either walking the tightrope or holding a chair because you told her to calm down.
@Ygrene [sneeze one]
Bless you
[sneeze two]
Bless you
[sneeze three]
You are under arrest
@JasonLastname Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds.