@samdunsiger: ME: There's something fishy going on here.
YOU: It's just an aquarium.
ME: Exactly.
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@juliussharpe: I root against my college football team. That place put me $80,000 in debt. It'd be like rooting for the bank that holds your mortgage.
@Brentweets: "In case of emergency break glass" Who do you think I am? Some sort of karate expert? I can't even open a Cheetos bag.
@ShortSleeveSuit: Tailor [furious]: You think you can just come in here and choose your own material and do your own measurements? Fine, SUIT YOURSELF!
@hallebaileys: friendly reminder that it is a sin to not be bisexual. the bible says adam and eve not adam or eve.
@junejuly12: Americans who pronounce Z like Ted are given Canadian citizenship, free Timbits for life, and one pet baby moose.
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